Authentic Friendships

To Do Lists

May 07, 2021
Is the To Do list something you love or despise?
It’s Monday and I’m working at my desk with my trusty to do list by my side, hot, black coffee and my diffuser with Abundance oil filling my office with amazing scents. I wrote my trusty to do list last Friday, so I would remember all the important tasks, calls and appointments I have and so I can stay laser focused. I also wrote the Tuesday to do list because I had a few must dos I didn’t want to forget.
After I finished my Facebook posting and commenting, I closed all the distracting tabs on my laptop to avoid any distractions. I am toiling away at my desk wrapping up the third item on the list and look at what is next. UGHHH I don’t want to do any of the items on the list … BOORRRIIINNGGG, so I flip to Tuesday’s to do list hoping to find something more interesting or fun to complete. What in the world am I thinking??? The purpose of the list is to do the things on the list!!!
I literally laughed at myself and texted my friend Susan to confess my distraction. (yes, this is another strategy to NOT do what I have on the list). Luckily, she’s super focused and doesn’t respond. Oh wait, Facebook Messenger just dinged on my phone, got to log on to Facebook and check that, I can’t keep people waiting. That would be rude. Remember, I closed all the tabs on my laptop so I wouldn’t get distracted but neglected to silence them on my phone.
I’m confident that I will get the list completed and yet it’s interesting to pay attention to the ways we get distracted, our feelings about what’s on the list and what we do when we just don’t want to do the things. And there goes my phone, another text message……..
Does this scenario sound familiar and how does friendship fit in here?
Sometimes we put off connecting with friends because we get focused on the to do lists, work, chores, responsibilities and commitments. We can make up stories in our heads that they are busy, won’t want to be bothered, aren’t available, this isn’t a good time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blaaaahhhh.
When we are so busy and neglect our friendships, they can fade away. The connection that you felt in the past may have dwindled. There are times that connections are so strong that when you do reconnect it’s as if no time has passed. But that is not always the case. We may even try to convince ourselves that it’s not possible to rekindle the friendship.
There have been times that even a 15-minute phone call with a friend has left me feeling loved, valued and has contributed to filling my cup. We all have 15 minutes somewhere in our week to fill our cup and to fill a friend’s cup. It’s time to start making our friendships a priority. They fuel us, feed us, uplift us and support us in ways that nothing else can. #womensupportingwomen
When we feel that time is limited, we often put off the things that nourish us, like friendships. Below are some Friend-Tips to get started on incorporating more friend time in your life. Imagine how you will feel when you start making friendship a priority in your life, even if it is just a little bit more than you have right now.
Here are some Friend-Tips:
  • Schedule time on your calendar to reach out to friends once a week.
  • Pick a time that works for you to reach out. The reachout could be to connect or to schedule a get together.
  • Reach outs could be texts, phone calls, email, FB Messenger or IG Direct Messaging.
  • Get clarity about how you would like to connect so you can make the invitation. There’s always room for changes in the plan if the invitation won’t work out. It’s much easier for a friend to say yes or no to an invitation if you already have a date and time in mind. And if it isn’t convenient for them you can figure out what could work.
  • Coffee
  • Lunch
  • Dinner
  • Happy Hour
  • Physical Activity – hiking, walk, bowling
  • Zoom
  • Phone Call
  • Crafting
  • If you take a daily walk, that could be a great time to make a phone call or two.
  • If someone pops in your head, reach out to them in the moment.
  • Send a quick text or Facebook Message:
    • Hey, wanted to say Hi, you popped in my head!
    • Thinking of you.
    • Miss you friend.
    • Let’s chat soon. How about tomorrow at 4?
    • Emoji that expresses your feelings.
    • Call and leave a voicemail.
    • Send a thoughtful note in the mail.
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